#Random : ‘Show Me Your Friends, and I Tell You Who You Are’

My church in Taipei has been talking about ‘Fruitful and Multiply’ in this past few weeks, and i love every sermon that the Evangelist M.E shared. Indeed it is not a new thing, but this time around this theme really motivate me to ‘Bear Fruits’. Well, im not gonna preach here, i just want to share about some things that i find it applicable in our daily lives.

There are many ways to Rome, likewise, there are many ways on how to live a fruitful life. One of it is ‘Having a Healthy Friendship’. In order to ‘bear fruits’, one needs a process, but sometimes we are just being impatience. Same goes with plants, they need process to bear good fruits, it needs to be watered, needs fertiliser, sunlight etc. and same goes to us. ‘Our Friends / Friendship’ is a place where we are planted.  Realize it or not, we impact one another. No matter how strong your character is, you will somehow get influenced by others.

You Are The Average Of The 5 People You Spend The Most Time With’. Which means, you really have to be careful on who you spent your time with, cause it will really influence your thinking, your behaviour and your ways of life. Which indirectly will contribute to the fruits that you will bear.

IDEALLY, you should hang out with this 5 types of people in your life (so you can be a better version of YOU) :

1. A Dreamer – Someone who will help you to dream it. Some people dont dare to dream big. Maybe their family background caused it so, maybe they had fell and have been hurt so much and afraid to have new dreams. A dreamer will see the good in you and help you to dream a new dream. Well.. Arent Dreams make life worth living?

But IF only dreaming without doing something, also a time-wasting thing. That’s why we need people number

2. A Driver – Someone who will help you to turn your dreams into reality. Normally she/he is a planner type of person, or a OCD type of person who (perhaps) already know what to do in 5 years time. Normally many girls wouldnt like this type of person, cause some girls are not a good planner (read: me), they will somehow make our dreams look so hard to achieve. They will come up with something like this. You want to become a model? Okay, first you need to lose weight, learn how to make up and how to do catwalk, research what’s the upcoming pageant that you can join in, enrol to personality classes, etc2. They are not being ‘dream-shattered’, they are just being real and telling you what exactly you need to do to achieve your dreams.

3. A Motivator  – Someone who will inspire you on every step of the way. We are still human at the end of the day. We need motivator in our lives to cheer us up along the bumpy road. This person may not be your best friend, you may just meet this person once in a while, it can be your leader or someone who is more experienced than you. Normally you will feel very re-charged and motivated after you listen to them. They may talk to you for a while, but it will make you feel like you learnt a month of lectures.

4. A Supporter – Someone who will never leave your side through good times and bad times. Someone who will laugh together with you, who have their ears open when you need it and lend you a shoulder shoulder to cry on. This person may not give you answers (not they dont want to) but they will always be there throughout the season.

5. A Devil’s Advocate – Someone who cut through the BS and tells you the real deal. Someone who will tell you that you look ugly on that dress. Someone who will tell that it is not a good move. Someone who will tell you straight to your face when you do something wrong, but of course someone who will praise you when they need to.

I dont know why, but this friendship thingy really gets me thinking. I do have a lot of friends, and when i track back, i do have them all, just that i am quite choosy sometimes. I dont want myself to be so close with the ‘Driver’, cause they do drive me crazy with all the facts that makes me think less of myself sometimes. and ohh.. who wants to criticised? I want to hear only the good things about me sometimes.

But i guess it’s true, you cant be to choosy IF you want to grow. I cant stay in my comfort ‘friendship-zone’ if i want to be a better me. I do need ‘Drivers’ who do crazy but effective planning for my dream, and oh yess.. i need the sincere ‘Devil’s advocate’ to point out what is wrong with me, and learn to humble myself and improve myself when i listen to criticism.

And as for me myself, i think i am in a ‘Dreamer’ category. I really like to talk passion with people. Somehow, there’s a sense of accomplishment inside of me when i encourage someone to follow their dream, that whatever that we dream of is not an impossible thing to do. Was thinking that i may dream too much sometimes.. that maybe i put false hope in other people (and me). But hey when i think again, what if this characteristic does inspire people? and what if they actually achieved their dream? Isnt it fantastic? I have influenced good things. hahaha.

What about you? Do you have that 5 type of people in your friendship life? and What type of friend are you? Do share with me! ❤

P.S : Im not trying to limit friendship here.. And of course God has a purpose for sending all people that come and go from our lives. Just sharing some interesting points that maybe we can ponder on? *peace* hehehe.

‘Bad company corrupts good character’ – 1 Corinthians 15:33



15 thoughts on “#Random : ‘Show Me Your Friends, and I Tell You Who You Are’

  1. Somehow I don’t really like the idea of putting some measurements and trait towards friendship because I feel like this, somehow, lessens its actual value 😛 . I mean, it just makes friendship look like an “organization” where each person has their own role 😛 . Don’t get me wrong, I understand the concept and I think it is true, but I feel like the role is actually not as visible. For instance, the Devil’s Advocate will only be a Devil’s Advocate when he/she really needs to be 😛 .


    • Yeapp. Kinda true.. Maybe i should put it, someone who has stronger character in that area. Hehe.. Gw juga sempet mikir kok kyk selfish yaa.. Tapi again, kok ada benernya jugaa. Haha. Anyway, i dont try to limit friendship sih dsini. Just sharing some points that i think quite interesting to ponder on.. Thanks for your thoughts koo 🙂


  2. A good reflection, Jen. I agree with Zilko on this. I understand that iron sharpened iron concept. While it is important to pick and choose who our friends are, and yet in the same time we can’t be really picky either. For God put people in our path for a reason 🙂


    • Hello sastrii.. Truee.. God put all people in out lives for a reason. I dont try to limit friendship as well. Cause i dont like it as well. Haha. Just sharing some interesting points that i heard last week which i never think of it before. Haha. Thanks for your thoughts 🙂


  3. Hi Jen, Aku setuju dengan Zilko. Mengkategorikan orang untuk kita berteman kok kayanya gimana ya. Sebagian besar orang aku lihat mencari teman dan berteman dengan yang cocok dengan mereka. Kadang ada beberapa tipe yang kamu tulis diatas yang ngga cocok berteman karena terlalu confronting. Jadi ada beberapa yang ngga nyaman dengan mereka dan sebaliknya.

    Lain halnya dengan membentuk team untuk kerja. Memang untuk sukses team perlu terdiri dari beberapa tipe kepribadian. Cuma kalo berteman ini menurutku bisa jadi riskan dan ngga bisa semua orang menerapkan ini. Good post though!


    • Hi mba.. Iyaa sihh. At the end of the day temenan adalah cocok2an yaa.. Cari orng yg bs terima kita apa adanya, support the good traits and confront with love if needed. Hehe.. Thank juga komennya.. 🙂


  4. Hi Jen, kayaknya saya punya semua tipe teman yg dimaksud, dengan jumlah masing-masing kurang lebih sama, kecuali yg tipe the devil’s advocate, karena itulah diriku..hahaha😝 Saya merasa masuk kategori nomer 5 ini karena saya emang blak-blakan dan jarang basa basi. Teman-teman saya juga bilang begitu.. Di lingkungan yg gaya bicaranya implisit dan diplomatis, kadang saya harus menahan diri agar tidak terlalu “devil’s advocate”😉


    • Hey mbaa. Icic.. Tapi ga semua orng bisa begitu lohh.. Kyk aku cukup ga enakan orngnya. Kecuali sama yg bener2 deket.. Hehe.. Tapi kadang lumayan suka yg ga pake basa basi.. Lebih berasa ga harus ‘jaim’ gt. Haha


  5. Untungnya saya juga punya prinsip lain yg cukup mengimbangi karakter devil’s advocate ini yaitu: don’t say anything when you got nothing nice to say (kecuali kalo ditanya😝teuteup ya 😉)
    Makanya beberapa orang tertentu sempat menganggap cara bicara saya lumayan “intimidating”, seperti petugas PDAM yg seminggu lalu saya komplen gara-gara diminta datang utk cek pipa bocor, malah datang setelah tagihan jadi 10x lipat dari biasanya.. Ah sudahlah koq jadi OOT nih😝


  6. Ga tau Jen gw tipe temen macam apa. Soale gw juga berteman dgn beda2 karakter org sih.. Malah ga tau temen yg mana yg masuk kategori itu. Semua berdasarkan cocok2an 😀


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